4 Smart Ways to Overcome Regrets as a Single
You can be happy and fulfilled while waiting for your soulmate.
“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love… but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” — Mandy Hale
Are you struggling to find your soulmate?
Do you regret your missed chances?
Are you wondering how you would be able to survive with your teddy bear you hug every day?
Could it be you don’t get why you can’t find real love?
We all have questions. I do too.
The other day, I ran into a girl, let’s call her Jennifer, a good friend of mine when I was younger. I always considered her as my little sister. And yet, it was more than a regular friendship. We had a good time as friends and enjoyed undertaking joint projects.
As often in life, there are seasons. We each have gone on, living our own lives.
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When I saw her once again that day, I thought: “What a beautiful and nice girl!”
We hadn’t met for a few years.
“Why did I never consider dating her? I would not wait for a second to ask her out! How come did I miss that chance?”
We All Have Regrets
Missed chances, failures, rejections, lack of courage, too much risk-taking — whatever it may be for you — leave us with regret.
- Have you experienced it?
- Are you still frustrated?
- How are you coping with your relationship regrets?
In this article, you will discover four smart ways that will enable you to overcome your regrets. They have been instrumental in my life. I’m sure you’ll find them helpful too.
Let’s get started: How you can overcome your regrets as a single.
1. Let Go of Your Past
Don’t despair. You’re not the only one. I know how it feels to make one step forward and two steps back in dating relationships.
I experienced moments when too many voices inside my head were telling me that I had my chance. “You’ve missed it! You’re too old, and you’re going to stay lonely and single — forever.”
My heart sank while I was grasping the impact of my past decisions.
As this hasn’t been challenging enough, it became worse when I met Jennifer, who got married with kids.
“Game over!” I thought.
“Will I ever meet anyone that great again?”.
“How can I run into someone smart, that funny, that good-looking, that talented, intelligent?”
It seemed impossible to me.
Those thoughts are lies. I had to start fighting to control them.
For whatever reason, I never felt attracted to her when we were friends. We were good friends, and it never occurred to me to consider a dating relationship with her — not one single second.
Now, as each of us has moved forward, there is no going back. That’s life.
And I don’t want to waste my time nurturing destructive thoughts that will not change anything.
I cannot change the past.
It’s a waste of energy to try to make up missed chances.
There is only one viable option to stop being miserable. We have to let go of our past. That’s what sets us up for the next step. We need to move forward once again.
Are you ready to moving forward again?
2. Look Forward
The only way to live in full is to look into the future. To quote the old Chinese proverb: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
Let’s focus on the second-best time, which is now. In other words, let’s keep our hopes up once again.
We can change our future.
Letting go of your past is one thing. But you have to be careful not to go back to your regrets instead of looking forward.
Moving forward again is no guarantee not to fail once more or to miss another chance. It’s in these moments of regrets you’ll get the most exposed. It’s too easy to fall back into your past.
Instead, stand up and get going again and always keep your eyes on your promising future you’re aiming at because there is more to come.
3. Believe Your Best Relational Chapter Is Yet to Come
If you want to overcome bad feelings that you have not found your soulmate yet, you also need to work on the WHY part — not only the HOW — or, as some call it, a “vision” that makes you want to rejoice.
Let’s proclaim that our relational future will be bright.
You have yet to write your best relational history.
Do you believe it?
As a man of faith, I began proclaiming that my God is One of the second chances. He can make a way where I don’t see a way anymore. He will make a miracle where I have lost my hope.
Following my encounter with Jennifer, I proclaimed again that there would be another chance. God will make something even more remarkable.
As I was opening the best book in the world, I noticed a verse on the page’s top.
“Surely there is a future and our hope will not be cut off.” — King Solomon in Proverbs
Wow! That promise is amazing.
It touched my heart.
I felt so encouraged.
Yes, Lord, there is a future, even if I don’t see it. Even if I don’t have the impression that anything is moving. Even if I have the impression I’m taking two steps back instead of one forward, there’s still hope.
There is a brighter future.
4. Adopt the Right Vision That Will Make You Unstoppable
Everything is possible for our God as the ancient prophet Jeremiah described it: “Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.”
“Nothing” includes finding your soulmate. I know finding him or her seems too hard. Does it seem impossible under your circumstances? Have you wondered how you’re going to meet that person in the challenging times we’re experiencing this year when the number of people you can meet is limited, the borders are closed, no planes flying to your desired destination?
Why is it taking that long? Why is it that hard? It’s a mystery that we don’t always figure out.
If we had the answer, we all would be already married.
I like that God replies to Jeremiah’s declaration of faith: “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?”
That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?
It’s as if God was asking him, do you think that there is anything too difficult?
Or as if he was asking us: “Is it too difficult for me to put the ‘one’ in your path? Did you forget that I have supernatural power?”
Take the limits off of Him! Our small thinking and disbelief hinder Him from turning the situation around.
It’s time to activate your faith again. Even if you don’t believe in God, I encourage you to try it.
Declare His goodness and faithfulness.
- When we focus on Him, we see how big of a God He is. And we focus on our problems, they become bigger and bigger and soon become overwhelming for us.
- When we give Him more space in our lives, our “big problem mountain” gets smaller and may vanish.
It’s a matter of perspective.
With God, it’s never finished unless He says so.
With Him, there is always hope.
There is always a possibility, another solution, another way out.
He gives us second chances.
Who could have said it in a better way than His son itself — the most inspiring person who ever lived on planet earth — that life with Him is full of better and more?
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” — Jesus
It’s that vision that gets my hopes up. When I think I’m getting stuck, my vision of my Savior gets me going again. Every single time.
Such a vision makes you unstoppable.
It’s normal to regret past decisions and experiences. Don’t despair, you’re in good company. I found four smart ways to get rid of my regrets in my singleness.
1. I turned the page on past regrets.
2. I focus on what’s lying ahead.
3. I am convinced my most amazing relational chapter is yet to be written.
4. A compelling vision makes me thrive.
Are you ready to apply these steps to become happy and fulfilled while waiting for your soulmate?
Did you like this article? You’ll find even better content in my new book “Single for a Season” (coming early 2021). Sign up to my newsletter and stay informed about the book release.