Happily Single is recognizing that you don’t need or want to be rescued from your life by a handsome prince because your life is pretty awesome, as is.
Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
How can I become a happy single?
Have you ever wanted to make a bigger difference?
Have you ever dreamed of influencing the world around you?
In the first part of How to Become a Happy Single, we looked at two important actions to take towards a fulfilled, single life.
I would be very interested in your thoughts and what steps you took. Please share them by posting a comment here below or by contacting me on the Contact Page.
Discover the First Two Ways to Become a Purposeful Single
Instead of focusing on yourself and putting all your energy into finding the “one,” make Jesus your priority (#1). The second way of becoming a purposeful single is by giving thanks (#2), or in other words, by becoming grateful for what you already have. Start saying “thank you,” and you will see how quickly your mindset will change.
Is it really possible to be happy while being single?
Over the years, I have asked myself this question many times. It took me a while to realize that it’s absolutely possible to be happy and to live a fulfilled life — all while being single. There is even more! God can even use me in much bigger ways than I thought. I just need to let Him do it.
How can I become a purposeful single?
Let’s continue with the three remaining steps to become a Single Influencer.
3. Share Your Deepest Fears with God
God is with you, and He likes to hear how you feel. There is nothing wrong about feeling frustrated, hurt, in despair or disillusioned. What is essential is what you do about it. Paul shared it. He had times when he was afraid, too. He was human as we are, you and me. While at Corinth, Paul was afraid. During the night, the Lord spoke to him in a dream.
Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you.
How did God know that Paul was afraid? Obviously, God knows our deepest and innermost feelings. But I think Paul just told Him in his prayers.
Even Jesus, the son of God, did not hold back His feelings before dying at the cross. Alone in the garden, he poured out His heart to God. He told his disciples that His soul was very sorrowful, even to death (cf. Matthew 26:38). We are told that Jesus went three times to pray. God is not afraid of our innermost thoughts and feelings. He is interested in every single detail of our lives. So, share your deepest fears with Him. Paul told us exactly how to do it.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
In everything, we should do it. “Everything” includes your single life as well. When you share it with God with an attitude of gratefulness, you will receive a peace that exceeds your wildest imagination.
4. Hold on to God’s Promises
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7
As Christians, we know that there is a spiritual reality. What we see is just a part of the entire reality. When you feel lonely, you easily focus on what you solely see. On the other hand, while we pray, God is working on our behalf. And this is not always visible.
The Bible holds numerous promises, and they are invisible. We need to believe they will come to pass.
Joshua, the new leader of the Hebrews and successor of Moses, saw the walls of Jericho, the fortified city. He held on to his faith. God promised if he did not depart from the law, he would be successful. “But they are strong, better skilled than we!” he could have said. He held on God’s promise that He would deliver their enemies into their hands.
God promised Joshua that he would make a way across the Jordan River. The reality in which the Israelites found themselves looked completely different. Everybody could easily notice the effects of the rainy season. The river before their eyes was carrying much water. It was seemingly impossible to cross it.
That is what Joshua saw. But he believed that God could make a way.
We live by faith and not by sight. This means that instead of looking at your impossibilities, proclaim God’s promises. Speak out the truth over your life. When I feel lonely, I say I am not alone, because God is with me. When I think there is no hope anymore, I proclaim that God still is in control. When I do not see how God can provide, it reminds me that everything is possible with God.
God has so much more in store for you than you can imagine. He wants to bless you in multiple ways. Hold on to His promises.
5. Constantly Find Ways to Bless Others
A couple of years ago, I was on a mission trip to Cambodia. The physical work under the hot sun was difficult. In the evenings, we would then spend quality time with the team, and sometimes we would continue our discussions over a drink until late into the evening. Getting up early the next morning for another hard working day was challenging. The mission trip was anything but relaxing. But when I flew back home, I felt so fulfilled. The interactions we experienced within the team and with the Cambodians were very rich.
Now, look at this. I have spent many relaxing vacations at the beach or snowboarding in the beautiful Swiss Alps. Nonetheless, I observed something strange. I did come home relaxed but not that fulfilled. I did enjoy the relaxing vacations. No doubt. The mission trip, however, was much more gratifying, and my memories were more intense. Even now, more than two years later, it still feels as if it happened yesterday.
You probably have heard this quote. It is more blessed to give than to receive. I can tell you that it is true. Why? Because God wired us in this way. It’s a godly principle. The one who sows will reap. The one who will sow abundantly will reap abundantly.
I came home fulfilled from Cambodia because I was serving. When you start serving, you make a pivot from yourself to others. You stop focusing on your own needs. You will live for a higher purpose. It’s a noble cause to serve the people around you. If you do it, you will be in good company. The Son of Man (himself) did not come to be served, but to serve. (Matthew 20:28, italics mine). For that reason, we can constantly find ways to bless others.
Become a Purposeful Single
Put these steps into practice today, and you will see that you will become a single with purpose.